I don’t know what to think anymore. There’s the days where I just want to jump out of a window and today was one of them my birthday . I feel like I have nobody in my family anymore my brother didn’t even call me. I don’t care anymore I don’t even think anyone would care if I didn’t exist. I don’t feel like anything anymore I have had too much taken out of me and nothing put in that I feel like I’m dead that I’m a person that’s just there, someone that no one cares about. I feel like dark circles forming under my eyes from the lack of sleep and my body getting weaker and weaker by the minute. I just have one question does anyone see me?
I love pugs
Why does love have to hurt so much it feels like you have this hand on your heart and someones squeezing and squeezing until it feels like it is about to be crushed. It hurts and hurts but how much can we take? I mean how much until you say enough? Do I have to get so hurt before I finally realize that it isnt love if your being hurt all the time and told what to do. I have a huge strain on my heart it feels like a hole. The walls are getting tighter and tighter and I’m losing my breath slowly and dying.
Love is hard for me to understand. It goes up it goes down. People say that they love me then take it away. How can someone say they love you and the next second say I hate you? If you truely love someone shouldn’t you stay to your word and nothing can change that?
I see this little girl everyday. I live with her. Shes hurting as Im sittting next her and shes shredding up a magazine just as I used to do. What do I do. I’ve tried everything but i cant do anything anymore Im a failure. All i want to so is help her. She doesnt realize i used to be her. I now know how my family felt with me.
Why do I struggle with the self esteem issues I have I look at my self in the mirror I am disgusted maybe if I lost a few more pounds maybe if I died my hair or put on a little more makeup. Why can’t I just look at my self and see me the way you see me “beautifully, wonderfully made”. Please help me realize how beautiful I really am.
I’ve always wondered what love really meant if anyone was really capable of loving someone else? Then He came out of know where and said “Take my hand child” Hesitating I looked up at him and saw the love on his face I grabbed his hand. That’s when my perspective of love changed. I knew if i followed this man who called me his child I would feel loved. I dropped back down on this fallen world. And instead of Black and White I saw everything in color! And everyone that was hurting was gray I questioned why this would be. One day as I was in school a girl came up to me she was a dark gray. I knew she was in so much misery I wanted to just hold her and tell her that she was okay. But instead I just prayed with her that “Jesus please help this young girl see the truth! Father hold her in your arms and make her feel loved once and for all.” At this the little girl said “Daddy”. When I opened my eyes her Dark Gray was changing into various colors her cheeks were red she was smiling for the first time in that year. Then I had the feeling to say to her “You can do all things through Christ”. She opened her eyes and they were a shade of bright green.
Behind that wall, that gate that’s hiding your heart there is something beautiful waiting to break-free inside!
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